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The Case Against Court
Giving up Control
Going through a separation or divorce can be difficult and emotionally painful. You are likely to feel as if you have lost complete control over your life and what is in your future. You might think that if your case goes to court, you'll regain some control.
But court is where control is given up to a judge. No matter how good your lawyer is, it is a judge - a stranger to your family's situation - who decides your life and future. Do you really want to leave these matters to a judge's discretion?
The Battlefield
Court proceedings are adversarial and confrontational - in most cases court becomes a battlefield. You may feel that court is your only chance to have your concerns and views made known. But your spouse or partner will have the same opportunity, and will likely have his or her share of concerns to voice. And all this happens in a public courtroom. The public airing of grievances is seemingly endless, and intensifies the conflict between the two of you, instead of resolving the issues in a more dignified and controlled manner.
No one "wins" in court - there are only degrees of losing. Most goodwill between the two of you will be jeopardized, or lost completely; and your integrity and privacy are generally disregarded in the decision-making process.
Children as Casualties of the War
Separation and divorce is extremely difficult for children too. The heightened conflict between parents engaged in the court process impacts the children more then you may realize. When you and your spouse or partner engage in a court battle, your children are forced to deal with intense emotions, loyalty conflicts and increased tension. Your children may become emotionally confused, as they have to divide their loyalties to each of you, and they may even blame themselves for the separation.
Sadly, children typically feel the emotional pain of the separation process for many years after the court battle is over. In some cases, the children's pain from a difficult divorce proceeding never resolves, and the children carry the pain from these experiences into their own adult relationships.
Limited Participation
Your participation in the court's decision making is limited. Your lawyer speaks for you in court, making arguments about how you'd like to see matters resolved, focusing on the relevant evidence that is able to be presented to the court.
If you are unhappy with a judge's decision and any orders made, it can be very difficult and costly to challenge these. As well, even if you agree with a judge's decision, but your spouse or partner does not, enforcement of any orders made can be complex and problematic.
Money and Energy on Pre-Trial Processes
The majority of cases eventually settle without actually going to trial. In the meantime, a great deal of time, energy and money is spent on pre-trial court applications and trial preparation. The court process can significantly drain a family's financial and emotional resources. Do you really want to see expensive paperwork eating away at the assets you worked so hard to attain?
The court process can also be slow and frustrating for you if you simply wish to get on with your life financially and emotionally.
The Better Choice - Collaborative Family Law
You can choose to proceed with a separation and divorce differently. The Collaborative process is well suited to and preferable for many family law disputes. It directs all resources at developing solutions for your unique situation, rather than strategic preparation for an adversarial court battle.
In the Collaborative process, experts are jointly engaged to determine the best approach for your situation, instead of being retained as a "hired gun" for you or your spouse. More about Collaborative Family Law.
Most importantly, in the Collaborative process, you and your spouse or partner are in control of the decision making every step of the way. You have direct input into crafting solutions for your situation and shaping your family's future lifestyle.
Take Charge of Your Future: Find Out More
Many people find out how confusing, expensive, and dissatisfying court can be only after receiving a judge's decision, when it's too late. It's your life - you owe it to yourself to try the low-risk alternative that focuses on your interests and your family: Collaborative Family Law. Talk to us to find out more.